Wishing Away the Last 6 Months

October 2nd was turning out to be a seemingly perfect day.  My parents had just arrived from North Carolina to celebrate Addison's 9th birthday.  Mom, Addison, and I had gotten pedicures and friends were heading over to help prepare for Saturday's party, but mostly just to enjoy the gorgeous fall night.
I remember taking a quick spin on my bike before dinner.  The neighborhood was buzzing. I zipped home to eat, because with everything going on I hadn't had anything besides a Starbucks. I was starving!   A migraine (I have been a chronic migraine sufferer since 7th grade)  from earlier was creeping back up and I wanted to take care of it so that I could enjoy the evening.  Food always helps.
After once slice of pizza I was more nauseous than I have ever felt before.  The room was spinning out of control, and I couldn't get the words to come out making sense.   I stood up to make my way to the bathroom and Mom followed.

Thirty five minutes later...

I am waking up on the floor of the mudroom with an EMT asking me so many questions.  The door to the garage was open and I see Ryan, my parents, and friends all there.   I could not remember for the life of me how I got there or what had happened.

Ryan's details of the event are more than horrifying to replay.  I will spare you the details; but to say the least I suffered a Grand Mal seizure.     911 was called because I do not suffer from seizures and this was a huge concern for everyone.  I was taken by ambulance to receive countless tests to understand more about the situation.    The final consensus... "We think this was just a fluke."

A fluke?  Well that's great news!  I do not have a serious medical condition that will need treatment for the rest of my life.  It is likely that this may be be the only one I will ever have.  Phew!

Here was the kicker... if you know of anyone that has ever suffered from a seizure this will not come as a surprise.  My driver's license has been restricted for 6 months!
 Here are my initial thoughts:
1. I am never going to be able to do this.
2. How will I do my job?
3. How will I get to Target?  ( I really thought about this... I love that place!)
4. What is Ryan going to do?  He can't do this all on his own.  How will Addison take this?
5. Things could be a lot worse and I need to really put that into perspective!


I am now 15 days from the 6 month mark and my mind is racing, which is what prompted this post.

For the past 6 months I have had to be okay with being nervous.  Was this going to happen again?  Would I feel it coming?  What would I do if I was home alone, or just with Addison?  Would she know what to do? Is this just a migraine or do I feel different?  What if I am traveling for work and it happens on the airplane, in the airport, at a school I am supporting?   Should I be skiing?  Should I be riding roller coasters?   These are just to name a few.

For the past 6 months I have had to be okay with asking for help.  This was the hardest part.  I did not want to become a burden for anyone.  It slowly became easier.  Can you take me to Target?  Are you going anywhere today?  Can I come too?  Will you drop me off here and pick me back up?

I now look back and think about the conversations Ryan and I have had running errands where before it would have just been one of us.   I think about the friends that have reached out for the pure sake of getting me out of the house: lunch, pedicures, trips to Target and Meijer, even picking Addison up from school.  I do not want that to stop.

I can hear Ryan saying to Addison, "We need to get Mom out of the house," as she complains about running errands after school. ( I work from home so many days go by without leaving.)  Those times, the three of us, are so special to me.  I would have previously driven myself to and from the airport.  The past 6 months I have a proper send off and greeting. I do not want that to stop.

I have had time to relish in my dependence and feel super grateful for my most amazing husband who has really shown that we are a dynamic team.

It would have been really easy to get in my car and start driving on countless days.  What would that have done?  Addison has seen through this that following the rules isn't always easy.  She has seen the struggle of asking for help and the caring nature of so many around us.

In 15 days I will likely jump in the car and life will be back to life as it once was, or will it?   I appreciate things in a different light.  I am aware of the not so obvious gestures people make to help out.  I am aware that everything happens for a reason.

I remember sitting in Mass sometime in September praying that I could understand the balance of working from home.   Once again I see... God works in mysterious ways.

Completely Consumed

I am pretty bummed that two weeks have passed since my last post. I was really looking forward to a post a week.   I promise that is hasn't been because of a  lack of things to write about, I have been preparing for Addison's birthday party. I spend so much time considering the theme that Addison chooses and then I go a little crazy...to say the least. Each year Ryan asks me to scale it down and without fail the party is just as big as years past. I have no excuse other than I LOVE IT!  
It really started with the fact that she was born during the absolute best time of the year. Each year the weather has been above normal temps. Her first birthday party was a miniature fall festival filled with wagon rides, a corn maze, and pumpkins for everyone. Not bad.  :)  
Years 2 and 3 were somewhat simple with another fall theme and the infamous Hello Kitty.  She then started voicing her opinion and really LOVING things. 

Arghhh you ready for a good time?  A princess and pirate party was unveiled.  She wanted nothing to do with having a prince there because in the movies they kissed the princess and that wasn't of any interest to her.  So eye patches, tiaras, wands, princess dresses, and striped socks were everywhere. Everyone was involved and some adults couldn't even stay away from the fun accessories. It all wrapped up with a treasure hunt for gold coins and trinkets. Some of which we still find while hunting for Easter eggs(great hiding Ryan.)    

Now if you have had a daughter in the last 5 years or so, you know that Hannah Montana was marketed so well, that someone who hadn't even watched the show would be obsessed.  As requested a Rock Star Party was in store.  By far one of the most fun themes in my opinion. The invites mimicked that of a concert backstage pass.  I was off to a good start.  The kids arrived in Rockin' attire.  It was adorable to see the faux-hawks and funky punky attire on all. Gma and Gpa even pulled out the Rock Star Security shirts...it was priceless.  My sister Melonie stayed on theme and bought Addison a pink acoustic guitar. Absolutely adorable!  It really didn't get any better when the cake was almost to scale. The kids all took home a party mix of the songs karaoked that day, including some from those ever catchy Chipmunks. BTW...Sorry about that if you received one.  I heard they were rather addicting for the kids and VERY annoying for the parents.

Her sixth birthday was pretty special.  Because she was born on the sixth and she was turning six, it was her Golden Birthday. However, gold by itself wasn't as fun as I had hoped.  Insert HOT PINK... much better.  The decorations kept getting more detailed each year.  By this point I am getting pretty good at the tissue paper flowers. Let me know if you are interested in a tutorial. ;)  Cake pops and a Barbie Cake were just what this party needed to add pizzaz to the gold confetti and sequins. 

This year as Addison is turning 7,  Ryan and I had the same discussion as in years past. Let's not go overboard...ok.... it doesn't need to be huge...ok...etc. I decided this year I would make everything.  Good thing I started 6 weeks in advance. It was so fun to see everything come together, but it took some time and manpower.  You know who you are...THANK YOU! We made pinwheels, (leaving only one hole in the counter...oops!), treat boxes, cupcake toppers, homemade carmel corn,a lollipop topiary,ribbon topiaries, and an amazing array of Mexican food (thanks to Ryan).  
The theme came together.  Addison wanted something to do with owls,("the cute kind, not the grumpy kind") bright colors, polka-dots, and fall stuff.  There were a few additions I couldn't pass up. Addison made a wish list of things she would love to have at her party.  I wasn't able to make the petting zoo or hot-air balloon rides work out, but an ice cream truck and a face painter were within my realm of doing. 

I have attached a few fun pictures.I wouldn't consider myself a party planner, just a mom who loves a good party. Is anyone else this way?  Comment and let me know what you do that might be a bit overboard.  I have already started thinking about what we can do next year. 

Cheers!

  

   

Voila!

I get in these moods where I think my family needs a complete menu makeover.  Honestly... how many times can we fit tacos, pasta, grilled chicken, and burgers into our month.  Sure, I tweak each one a bit by adding a tortilla here or there, mixing up the sauce, or getting a little wild with cilantro lime rice. This just isn't keeping the adventurous taste buds of my family satisfied.  
  
Here's the issue.  When I plan ahead something comes up. It never fails. I am then left with wilted peppers and french bread that Prince Fielder could use at his next at bat. So typically I get in the "I'm going to create a new dish" mode at the last minute and start filtering through various recipe sites with my main ingredient in mind.  I can move through them quite quickly based on the availability of the ingredients in the pantry. It can be a real hit or miss.

Once the recipe has been chosen, let the fun begin.  Here is where my experience in the kitchen comes in handy. (insert wink here)  The recipe calls for paprika and I add chili powder because I have that in the pantry. I am motoring along and its time for that first taste.  It tastes okay not great, I add a bit more garlic or ginger.  We like a little heat so red pepper flakes are always near the front of the pantry. In goes a shake or two.  The sauce isn't as plentiful as I had hoped--in goes a few glugs of chicken stock.  Before I know it, I have completely forgone the original recipe and now have a creation all my own.  

Now its time for the great reveal.  Ryan tries his first bite and I ask, "What do you think?"  Most of the time he likes it,occasionally it turns out to be a instant favorite, and a few times it has been a complete bust. 

Every time I learn a little something along the way.  Still there is one thing I can't seem to master-- when to write things down.  I am never able to recreate those instant favorites. Did I use chili powder or cumin?  Did I use garlic cloves or powder?  

When I get a request for lettuce wraps or French Onion soup I can't make any promises that it will taste the same as last time,  but am happy to give to give it a whirl.  We will arrive somewhere close to that final destination.

Voila!

Go Scots!

When making my college selection, I put little research into which mascot I would be cheering for during Saturday football games.  Unbeknownst to me, burley men in kilts would make my heart race.  The Fighting Scots of Alma College were at best, interesting.  I would hear about the Spartans, Chips, and Broncos and  meagerly shout... Go Scots!  

Six years later:

As Ryan and I were house hunting we found the cozy rural community of Caledonia.  It was perfect.  Great schools, small town feel, and a fabulous neighborhood to raise Addison.  SOLD! 

It didn't take long to recognize the purple and gold emblazoned  sweatshirts, hats, and plaid pajama pants.  All of which someplace say Go Scots!  What?!  Seriously? How could it be? Addison is a Fighting Scot?  

This fall Addison has decided to give cheerleading a whirl.  I honestly never had a passion for cheer.. but that might be partly because I couldn't get that clap right, or make those perfect fists.  

Tonight was the first night of practice. Her pigtails were high with purple bows and she was more excited than I have seen her in months.  I was so proud to  see her walk in with such confidence.

An hour and half later she was chatting about new friends, round offs, and the Caledonia Rumble.  The entire way home she was practicing the song, but couldn't show me the moves in the car.  So we rounded up Dad and she did her first cheer for us.  I LOVED IT!  

The next six weeks will hopefully increase Addison's confidence and give her something to get all giddy about.  I'm looking forward to hearing Fire Up, Go Scots about a million more times!

Until next time, Go Scots! 

Michele

what do you doodle?

names... swirls... silly faces?  I doodle stars.  Any size or color works for me.  The more adornments the better.  As I sit in a meeting, listen at a conference, or chat on the phone I am constantly doodling. I have been doing it since college.  At one point I realized if I doodle I am actually more focused.  I am not thinking about what to make for dinner, my to-do list, or even day dreaming about an upcoming vacation.   I love it.  From time to time I may post one of my latest creations.  :)  

Honestly, I am not going to write a continuing blog about doodling.  I want to write about being a wife, mom, sister, daughter, and friend.  Interestingly five things that I would say define me... kind of like the five points on a star...weird?!  (that may need to be a topic of a future post.)  

 Enjoy!~

Today as my daughter was walking to the bus on her 3rd day of second grade I said something to her that I really hopes impacts who she is.  "Get smarter and be kind."  She giggled as she repeated it to her friend on the way to the bus.  Did it make a difference? I hope so... in some way.  Maybe not today, but tomorrow or the next day. 

Being a teacher for 7 years allowed me to see inside the school after the parents dropped their little darlings off.  Certain kids were better behaved at school, while others... well let's just say... had a different side to them.  

Over the summer my daughter, Addison and I had a few discussions about the idea that you should always make the best choice no matter who is watching.  I think that is a pretty BIG concept.  I am going to continue that conversation.  It is worthy of some time for sure.  

Until next time... Cheers!